Tweeting Away

It might be a quarter life crisis, or just a stirring in my soul.

Two songs I've been listening to of late: John Mayer's "83" and "Why Georgia". Last Sunday I just thought of updating my iPod and decided to add these fairly old songs to my playlist, not knowing that they would speak so much about everything that's been going on in my head and in my life these past few months. It's actually not the first time that something like this has happened, when a song, a book or a movie comes out of the blue to talk about nearly the exact same thing that I' m going through, thinking or feeling. It's both strange and amazing how things like that happen.

Some would argue, however, that us humans have a way of seeing what we want to see in anything - in which case, there really isn't anything strange and amazing about seeing your story unfold in a movie as if someone had videotaped your life and adapted it into a screenplay. But where's the fun in that theory? If we could explain how and why everything in life turns out the way it does, it won't be so much of a life anymore. Sometimes, you have to leave some things to coincidence, to chance, or to some other inexplicable, unidentifiable force you just have to trust is out there somewhere.

So these two John Mayer songs. First, "83". It actually refers to 1983, when he was 6 years old, and he sings about how everything was so simple back then, and how he wishes he could go back to that time of his life. "I had it made in '83".

I don't like regrets, and I don't look back at my life thinking that the best of it had already come and gone. Because what's the point of doing that? I wake up every morning believing that the best of my life has yet to come, that from here on out, things can only get better. These days however, now that I'm supposed to be all grown up and independent and an "adult", I can't help but wish I were younger. I can't help but wish I were back in college, when life was the right amount of simple and complicated. When I was young enough to not need to care about keeping a job and paying bills, but I was old enough to go out as late as I wanted and hang out with my friends and have crazy fun. These days, I can't help but feel that reality really does bite, big time.

Then there's the second song, "Why Georgia", where he sings about "the outcome of a still verdictless life", and wonders if he's living his life right. I've been wondering a lot lately, if I've been living my life right. If I'm making the right choices. If I've got my priorities straight. I don't know really. I guess I'm just pressured to plan out my life. I didn't need to do that very much before. The extent of my planning before was to study hard enough to get good grades but leave enough time to have fun and enjoy being young. Now there's so much to look forward to and to plan for that I hardly have time to look at the "now". I guess being able to strike a balance takes time, and I guess it's healthy to ask yourself every so often if you're living your life right. It's making sure you're able to give the right answer that's the challenge - to be able to say, with conviction, that you're living your life the way you want to, that's the tough part.

All this grown-up stuff, it's tough. But a much older and wiser grown-up did tell me recently that it does eventually get easier. You just have to suck it up and muscle your way through the difficult times. Here's to that, and here's to always believing that no matter what, the best in life is yet to come.

"83"
I have these dreams I'm walking home
home where it used to be
everything is as it was
frozen in front of me

here I stand six feet small
romanticizing years ago
well it's a bittersweet feeling
hearing "Wrapped Around Your Finger" on the radio

and these days
I wish I was six again
oh make me a red cape
I wanna be Superman
oh if only my life was more like 1983
all these things would be more like they were at the start of me
I had it made in 83

thinking about my brother Ben
I miss him everyday
he looks just like his brother John
but on an eighteen month delay

here I stand six feet small
and smiling cause I'm scared as hell
kinda like your life is like a sequel to a movie
where the actors' names have changed

well these days
I wish I was six again
oh make me a red cape
I wanna be Superman
oh if only my life was more like 1983
all these things would be more like they were at the start of me
if my life was more like 1983
plot a course to the source of the purest little part of me

and most my memories have escaped me
or confused themselves with dreams
if heaven's all they want it to be
send your prayers to me care of 1983

you can paint that house a rainbow of colors
rip out the floorboards
and replace the the shutters
but that's my plastic in the dirt

whatever happened to my
whatever happened to my
whatever happened to my
whatever happened to my lunchbox
when came the day when it got
thrown away
don't you think I should have had some say in that decision

more like
more like
more like 1983

"Why Georgia"
I am driving up 85 in the
kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
I’m just stuck inside the gloom

4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

cause I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why, why Georgia, why

rent a room and I fill the spaces with
wood and places to make it feel like home
but all I feel’s alone

it might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul
either way

I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life
am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why, why Georgia, why

so what so I’ve got a smile on
It’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head

don’t believe me
don’t you dare believe me
when I say I’ve got it down

everybody is just a stranger
but that’s the danger in going my own way
I guess it’s a price I have to pay
still everything happens for a reason
is no reason not to ask yourself if you are
living it right

are you living it right
are you living it right
why, why Georgia, why

2 comments:

shara said...

i dont have anything else to say but... ditto.

lefthandedwonder said...

wow John Mayer. I remember how I liked "Room for Squares" when it was released. I bought the album in cassette form and wore it out till the magnetic strip warped. I even played "pretend" concerts in my room wherein I'll sing along through whole of Side A. hahaha. Yeah "83" is a nice song.

Yes a things were much simpler then. I miss college too.